Clouds Without Water excerpt -- "Gutter French"

[...] I remember a story of an Austrian surgeon who claimed to have transplanted a serving girl's tongue to her vagina [...], but also claimed that the operation was spoiled when she taught her womb to talk. He was gravely disappointed to determine that her womb could only speak the coarsest French and not the more cultured Swiss for which they jointly hoped. He related that it was better than his first attempt, in which the tongue was transplanted from one of his hunting hounds. Reportedly, her twat barked furiously and incessantly when his wife entered the room wearing one of her fox stoles, raising all manner of eyebrows when they entertained. [...]

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